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malleus336 Diary Thursday 28, August 2008  

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malleus336's Diary Notes


Entry Title Note Posted
ok im back I'm glad you're back!
[PinUpGoth]
2008-07-24 05:28:01

ok im back

I'm glad that you are not with James anymore. Having Andrew over without your permission and just his would be so uncomforting. I know. It happens. As long as you're in the comfort of your momma's house. Very Happy

Jovonnah Rabbit

[DearGan]
2008-07-24 01:25:27

N/A Hey, I know I haven't commented on your entries...but don't worry
I'm back!
I'm just pretty busy with my life, I hope you're okay.
Take care always!

[PinUpGoth]
2008-06-06 22:13:24

it will get better, right? Wow sounds like there's a lot going on... I reckon James is only saying that you treated him badly just to make you feel bad. I kinda have a mate who's in the same position at the moment. The other day her bf told her how much he hated her and that he was embarrassed to be seen by her and everything. That she does nothing for him. But she does a lot for him... even though she is a bit hard to handle sometimes... I know it's not exactly the same situation but it is in a way that James is trying to hurt you and my mate's bf and trying to hurt her. And clearly it's working. With him separating things that you used to share together. I think that it's his way of saying that maybe he wants to move on in the relationship but he isn't really sure about it so he takes it upon himself to make you feel like crap by telling you you didn't treat him right and pretending to listen to you so maybe that YOU would get sick of it and leave him. Who knows? Maybe it's a phase... hopefully it'll work out for the better.
[surfsupb!tches]
2008-04-18 09:01:45

it will get better, right?

Its a flymask to keep flies off his face

[ArmyNatlGrdGrlfrnd]
2008-03-17 02:00:47

it will get better, right? I know it will take awhile for me to let go, I'm not even convinced yet that I will be able to, but who knows?[GhostWalker] 2008-03-11 21:21:12

it will get better, right?

Roxanne,

Thanks for un confusing me...lol

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-11 21:19:24

it will get better, right?

Thank you Roxanne, I am getting the help I need. Therapist once a week, psychiatrist every two weeks. Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-11 21:17:09

it will get better, right?

Roxanne,

It sounds like you'd be way better off without him. I'm a little confused here though. In your entries you refer to him a friend but then it seems like he's more than that. Which is he?

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-11 20:29:58

I was expecting this to hit eventually

Roxanne,

I'm sorry that you're having all this trouble with James. I'm not much use in the advice or help department tonite, but I'll try. I guess all I can say is that you should do what you feel you have to. One way or another, things will work out. You might be right about the solution of finding your own place. I hope everything turns out well and I'll try to do better with my comment next time. Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-10 22:15:28

calm

Thank you Roxanne.....I appreciate it.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-09 01:39:29

just plain tired

And thank you again for all the comments..lol

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-08 18:13:14

calm

Roxanne,

Thanks for understanding my comment, but you should see my hand writing........lol Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-08 18:08:45

calm

Sorry, confusing comment, I meant that you and I agreed that the divorce was not my idea, and given the amount of the phone bill, I'm paying for enough, especially  by having my credit rating ruined(I have no credit, actually) but I don't want bad credit. Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-08 17:51:05

calm

Roxanne,

Thank you again, she's not asking for that(paying or splitting the cost of the divorce), like both me and you said, I didn't ask for this. Talk to you soon.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-08 17:48:01

calm

Roxanne,

Thank you for the comment. I sometimes worry about getting on people's nerves. Thanks again for the comment, I'll go back to rambling and/or typing now.......lol. Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-08 17:42:05

calm

Thank you for your comment, Deep down, I believe I have a purpose but I do forget or just plain ignore that fact. I'm glad you had a good day. That must be an impressive collection of shoes............lol Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-08 17:16:47

N/A

Ok, I see it now.....lol

[GhostWalker]

2008-03-07 14:07:15

N/A

What happened to your second comment? Nothing there

[GhostWalker]

2008-03-07 14:00:32

N/A

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it

[GhostWalker]

2008-03-07 13:53:54

just plain tired There's nother better than intimate cuddling!!  You're not being selfish, but you may be getting a little greedy.  You'll find that you'll enjoy it that much more if it's in small, consistent doses.  Too much of someone can be really destructive and poisonous for your relationship.  It sounds like a strong bond and I don't think you need to stress out about it :o)
[equestriangirl]
2008-03-07 07:27:04

N/A

Thank you and sleep well too. True, tomorrow is a new day. Talk to you tomorrow.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-07 00:42:56

N/A

Ok, thank you for the comment. I appreciate it.

Goodnite, I'm off to bed. Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-07 00:35:57

N/A

I know.

Trinity

[misplacedmandy]
2008-03-06 23:30:03

N/A

Was my entry that bad that you want to cry? lol Just kidding.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-06 23:08:16

just plain tired

I'm glad for the happy times in your life, the unpleasant times will resolve themselves. Take care, hang in there.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-06 23:02:45

just plain tired Maybe you should call in to work and say you can't due to a lack of appropriate attire...

I understand how it can feel to want someone all to yourself. But you have to remember that he can have other friends... and so can you! Don't worry about growing apart or anything. I'm sure you guys have just as a close a bond as you ever did. Just try to make the times you do have together very special.

Anyway, thanks for all the nice comments you leave on my diary. God bless,
-Tasj.

[InstaSmile]
2008-03-06 22:45:50

Not as bad

You're welcome, anytime.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-06 22:07:00

Not as bad

I'm glad you had a good day today. What's wrong with your stomach and throat? Are you getting sick? Talk to you later.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-06 21:23:44

ugh, im tired of this! I really hope you and james work out...you all are very good friends and i dont want you to to stop being friends!
Ohh its okay,...im getting ot tommorrow! lol! My mom gave in!
and i get to go to my hunnies house on saturday! so everythings good...im not going to school tomorrow either...dont really feel like it...lol
<33Sarah[LilS43]
2008-03-06 18:16:35

ugh, im tired of this!

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it. Take care.

Chad

[GhostWalker]
2008-03-06 14:23:20

ugh, im tired of this! The hole in the ground thing is pretty true!
I even fell!
           -PinUpGoth-

[PinUpGoth]
2008-03-06 04:26:28

Who KNew? put some honey in it too and make the tea as hot as humanly possible.  it feels so good going down. i know.  i'm still getting over that damn virus!  Laughing[nbriggs] 2008-03-04 18:29:50

It just gets worse i hope things get better for you soon.  just think, when you think they won't ever get better, that's usually when it starts looking up a little.  [nbriggs] 2008-03-04 18:10:25

It just gets worse I know sometimes we would end it all, but we hate the cold dirt on us and the worms eating our flesh.---I am not strange, just honest. My life is really messed up, and I wish I would wake up from this bad nightmare. Pray that all we well for me and my family.Crying or Very sad[ANONYMOUSAnonymous] 2008-03-04 17:14:46

Mondays were never even fun to begin with... Your welcome!
I hope your feeling better!
<33sarah[LilS43]
2008-03-04 16:52:31

Mondays were never even fun to begin with...

If you do use the green tea i hope it works!

And just sip it...if you take too much it wont rest in your throat!

<33Sarah

[LilS43]
2008-03-04 16:11:18

Mondays were never even fun to begin with...

Oh my god! I feel so dumb!

lol but i am still gald he is so close to you...my uncle is gay and he is the same way...

all the good guys are gay! lol!

oh yea and if your throat is sore...try warm green tea...it really works for me!

<33Sarah

[LilS43]
2008-03-03 18:25:00

Mondays were never even fun to begin with...

He sounds like he wants to be more...dose he?

<33Sarah

[LilS43]
2008-03-03 18:21:02

Mondays were never even fun to begin with...

I hope you get better!

James sounds like a total sweetheart!<33

<33Sarah

[LilS43]
2008-03-03 18:14:25

Mistake ugh, everyone seems to be sick!  especially on here.  i swear this bug is traveling right through people computer monitors![nbriggs] 2008-03-02 16:10:18

He Called and We Got Drunk

I don't get it----------I am confused-----------~you live with one guy, got drunk with 2 guys. Wanted to fool around with one of them, but the one you live with has no problem with that!! I think I need a shrink!!!ShockedSurprisedNeutralShocked

[ANONYMOUSAnonymous]
2008-02-22 13:34:12

Pics of Gwen, James, Marlene and me! ur baby is sooooooooo cute![outcast12345] 2008-02-21 16:16:41

Poem For James i love this poemExclamation[outcast12345] 2008-02-21 15:52:47

I Kinda lost it last night. Thanks for the comment!
I'm also trying to go veggie but mum doesn't
want 'cuz she thinks I'm too young.

                *PinUpGoth*

[PinUpGoth]
2008-02-21 05:15:11

I Kinda lost it last night. i added u[soXsexi] 2008-02-20 20:25:59

Monday Monday You're vegan?
Oh! Thanks for the comment!

                                *PinUpGoth*

[PinUpGoth]
2008-02-20 05:53:59

Monday Monday I hate MONDAYS!!!

                     *PinUpGoth*

[PinUpGoth]
2008-02-19 05:37:55

feeling great! Awww that's great that you're feeling awesome! And it's nice to know that I'm not alone with the whole living with boys thing... ugh.. the recycling bin is absolutely overflowing and I'm struggling to tell myself not to empty it... cos I always end up doing it! I have a deal going on at the moment where the boys empty the bins and I vacuum and what not.

Well... if you're not sure about having a bf I just say keep dating. There's no harm in that right? Herman sounds like a great guy and it's a bonus when they have all their sh*t together! Lol.

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-09-11 22:21:19

feeling great!

So glad you're feeling great! Very Happy That's just wonderful to hear!
Enjoy your time! Wink

                        xoxo  <3,
                                    Veronica

[VeroniCash]
2007-09-11 17:27:48

Birthday Weekend     First of all... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Sucks that you had to put up with a lotta drama... ugh... that sucks when that happens! What really pissed me off was the nerve of that c*nt that decided to punch you in the back of the head! First of all he shouldn't be hitting chicks and second of all... he really should be staying out of it... what a dumb c*nt. Spose it wasn't too bad that he found you your phone and gave you a birthday card with 50 bucks in it... although he owed you a lot more than that!!!

What's Knotts Berry Farm???

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-09-10 21:35:10

bored and bummed Hey!!! Thanks for the comment! Lol. I thought I might spice up my entries and start putting some images up... it started from the entry called "...take your picture... etc" which involves my "cute" Benn haha. Not really... I just think that that's the cutest pic of him that I have cos he's not very photogenic. As for me being pretty... meh... I dunno... Wait til you see a couple more before you make that judgement! Haha

Anyways it's definitely been a long time since you've been on here last! Glad to hear that James as ha new car! Sounds bloody hot!!! How does it go???  Congrats on the promotion!!! Wooo!!!

Btw... what exactly is "darlings?" are they like a band or something?

Hope everything with you and Noe go alright! So do you like, WANT something serious to come of this? I'm unsure... Let us know if you see him at the party and what not!!!Mr. Green

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-08-15 11:41:52

Its Been A LONG Time wut else can i say??

GOOD LUCK!![limon915]
2007-08-09 15:48:49

i passed!!! Congrats on passing your exam!!! That's f***ing awesome!!! Gotta let us know how the training goes!!
[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-21 07:02:32

very interesting day Holy sh*t about the guy on the tracks!!! That must've been like Shocked f***ing hell...

About Herman... bloody oath! Why did he chuck such a spack when you just said that you couldn't make it to the concert? He sounds a bit too... I dunno full on now... if you know what I mean... talk about possessive or what not!
[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-21 01:49:52

i passed!!! Congratulations 2 ur exam!!![VeroniCash] 2007-05-19 20:34:42

its halfway over Hmmm that's strange about Herman... but that's the thing with texting... he might not have credit... or something coulda happened with his phone... you never know... I hope it all works out!!!

As for the random trip to that restaurant that was kinda funny lol. Sucks that you guys had to walk all the way back and got home at 1am lol. Sometimes I wish that I could walk and keep walking to nowhere but then it's the walk BACK that makes me think twice ugh...

Good luck with the retaking of the second part of your exam!!!
[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-17 02:36:37

this saturday That sucks about the computers being all shonky at work Mad Sounds like Herman is definitely into you!!!! Maybe you're unsure of being in a relaitonship cos you're thinking about it too much? I'm not sure? I always find that when I meet a guy I contemplate if I would be with them after we had gotten to know each other. But with Benn I kinda thought... nah... mates... and then he grew on me... like... the whole relationship thing just "happened" rather than being "made" to happen... you know?? I think you gotta let it come naturally...

With the two jobs are they both casual positions? I remember holding down 2 jobs... it was pretty hectic... during the day I would work from 830am to 530pm at a jewelry store and then I would get changed in the carpark and drive to my other job at a tavern and work from 6pm til 11pm... Ugh... I died... lol. But now I'm studying and only working one casual job... But having two jobs surely did rake in the mulah!!! Just take it wasy... find time for yourself... otherwise you might go nuts!!!
[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-13 02:11:02

we hung out again Woo!!! That's awesome news about the prelude!!! Yay!!!! Honda doesn't even make them anymore hey? So that's a double yay!!!!

So cute of Herman to keep telling you that you looked hot... awwww... and kisses... oooo Wink looking good!!!! Gotta let us know what happens on Monday!


[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-12 07:06:06

no more car     Argh!!! That totally sucks about the Prelude!!! I hope youse do find a car before Tiger Army in Las Vegas! How far a drive is it from where you are to Las Vegas? Train rides can be fun... stock up on camoflauged alcoholic drinks, magazines, junk food and music lol.

Sucks about Art. Don't you hate it when guys you're interested become single and you think you might have a chance and then all of a sudden they're taken again? Argh!

Hm... about Herman... take your time with figuring out what you wanna do. You don't wanna force the issue. I think you're doing the right thing by just hanging out with him and what not!

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-11 22:25:06

Part 2     Oooo so you think that you and Jebus might hook up next weekend??? What's happening with Art???

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-08 21:09:21

SO much has happened!     Congrats on the new neice!!! I bet you must be excited indeed! Can't wait to see the pics of her!!!

Awesome that you're gonna go to Vegas as well! I wish I could bloody go somewhere for a break lol.

Good luck with the jobs as well!!! Hope you get one of them!!!

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-08 21:05:12

Ugh!!!     Hey! I heard about what happened there on the news over here. It's horrible. And at the time that I heard it they were saying that the killer was unidentified... and then the next day when I was at work I was reading the paper and it has his pic on it... to be honest. I thought he was like a representation of the killer being able to purchase his firearms... but in fact HE was the killer. And it was unexpected that he was asian. I don't know why... I spose it's stereotyping... hopefully it won't cause any more racism. I don't know what the racism state is over there. But over here racism tends to be mainly for the minority groups that do something wrong... and at the moment the big thing is between the anglos and the "wogs" meaning middle easterners, lebanese etc. If you've read my entry on racism.

But I can understand the amount of feelings it would've brought up. Do you live nearby or something?

I think that it makes you treasure life more cos you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Makes me wonder if anything like that will happen while I'm at uni...

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-05-03 08:25:33

I found the dress

WOW! IT'S BEAUTIFUL!! I love it!!

[Julz1985]
2007-04-15 17:46:12

He Lost Out Oh, thank you sooo much! It was nice from u! Very Happy[VeroniCash] 2007-04-13 12:06:10

He Lost Out On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on
the LEFT.












2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?














3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE
OPPOSITE SEX.











CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT














4. WRITE ANYONES NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...) next to 4, 5, & 6.













DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID













5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
















6. Finally, MAKE A WISH
















ARE YOU READY? HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME


1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2





2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE






3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7






4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4







5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.







6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR
LUCKY STAR







7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3






8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7







9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND






10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE






11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF 10 PEOPLE
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.




IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE.

STRANGE HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK


Thialy:}[thialy]
2007-04-12 22:22:35

He Lost Out

Good luck Hugs!Mr. Green

[thialy]
2007-04-12 00:09:19

She said i pick up fast     Hey! I've been meaning to come on here and check what's been happening but I'm at my parents at the moment so I've been pretty busy and only came online to read what's been happening with you.

That totally sucks about Joe. I really don't know what to say... it's kinda suss how it seemed like all he wanted was sex but I don't know what to say about the possibility that he might not be seeing other people... But really... what boy is worth all this trouble? You know straight away if troubles happen to early in a relationship it's not gonna work... esp if it's all over the place muddled kinda bullsh*t...

Gotta let us know what happens tonight with Herman! Are you planning on staying just mates with him? Or you just you know... testing the waters for any potential activity? Lol.

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-04-11 03:47:00

question     Yeah I hope your mum sorts things out and what not. It's really bad when all we can really do is offer our support for a loved one and it's really up to the loved one to really help themselves. She'll come through one day.

Definitely let us know what happens tonight!

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-04-05 00:13:37

question     Oh yeah lol sorry I forgot that there was a whole lot more that I wanted to say.

About your mum, I'm sorry to hear that all that sh*t is happening to her cos of your stepdad. It reminds me of a similar case with someone that I know whom I shall not mention. Their mum has been with this bloke for about 8 years now and she is so infactuated by him that she blames her kids for his wrong doing. In her eyes this guy NEVER does anything wrong. It's horrible watching her put him in front of her kids... But my mate confided in me about it and he knows that what his mum is doing is f***ed and that it seems like she's a bit dillusional but he feels that she's scared of losing him and end up growing older and passing away on her own... now that she is getting older almost in her 50s.

I know that a person's life does not revolve around finding a partner... it's just a part of it. I believe that living a life is to live it the way YOU want it to be. Not customising it according to someone else's life. And I have a feeling that your mum might be staying with him because she's afraid of being alone as well... that or the fact that she could be holding onto cherished memories of their relationship from the earlier years in fear that it may disappear forever...

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-04-04 23:13:34

question To be honest, I'm not 100% sure of what you should do. I don't think anything can be done to change the way you feel because... well it's basically the way you feel. Obviously there's something holding you back... and you need time to figure it out. I don't think it's that big a deal that you didn't sleep with him and I'm pretty sure Joe wouldn't have taken it personally after all it is a new relationship.

I think you should just give it time. Maybe deciding to sleep with him was rushing it and subconsciously your mind was telling you "No! Don't do it just yet!" because you really like this guy or something you know? You might wanna make it even more special.
[surfsupb!tches]
2007-04-04 23:10:11

question It sounds like you and Joe are getting along really well!

I think the reason why you're being so hesitant is that maybe you really really like this guy and that sex... with him... isn't JUST going to be sex... it's like taking the feelings that you have for him even further... you know what I mean? Cos judging from my mates and what not some of them don't have a problem sleeping with a guy they're interested in... but sometimes they're really careful about sleeping with a guy whom they really care about and have feelings for that could progress into a really serious relationship.

Or maybe it's because you're just being subconsciously cautious. Not saying that you're scared to have sex with him cos it's a big step into a new relationship but maybe you're just being weary of the feelings that sleeping with him will produce?

[surfsupb!tches]
2007-04-04 22:21:06

He is my boyfriend now Congratulations!!  You sound very happy and you can't put a price on that.



[sexualadvisor]
2007-04-03 22:52:44

He is my boyfriend now     Awww that's really cute! Congratulations on that one! I hope tomorrow night goes real well for youse two! Gotta let us know how it went!!!
[surfsupb!tches]
2007-04-03 22:47:42

Friday Oh okay, lol. I guess they have Buffalo Exchange in many places... =][summerstargazer] 2007-03-31 13:18:11

Friday OMG I love Buffalo Exchange! And the Red Light! You're in Portland, right?[summerstargazer] 2007-03-31 12:13:35

Preferably Joe Just to let you know you date a marine your in for some trouble. They are great guys but can be real a**h***s. Good Luck..[HellBentChild] 2007-03-27 23:14:30

Preferably Joe Thank you!
God bless.

[InstaSmile]
2007-03-27 22:13:10

Disturbia I seen that to and it almost mad me cry cause I love my dog and other dogs.[thialy] 2007-03-16 23:07:03

butter not WHAT PART OF CALI ARE YOU FROM?[Sharlene] 2007-03-16 19:58:55

butter not ThanksVery Happy
[InstaSmile]
2007-03-16 14:24:42

butter not Haha, the prefix butter. That's a new one!
God bless.

[InstaSmile]
2007-03-16 13:23:21

When will it end?? I'm sure everything will be looking up soon. I know what it's like when it just seems like there isn't enough money and there isn't enough of you to make money. But don't sweat, it looks like everything will be coming together soon.
God bless.

[InstaSmile]
2007-03-14 21:06:46


 
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